Ants...

 I have issues.

 

With ants.

 

Teeny tiny ones. They invade my studio every few months. They drive me nuts when I see them running all over my workspace. They give me the heebie-geebies! 

 

This morning,  which began first thing as a vulnerable, raw emotion day, when I sat down at my table to try and meditate some brain monkeys away, and found the ants crawling, I lost it for a little while and started squishing every ant I saw. There were maybe a dozen in and under my stuff on the desk.

 

Then this big wave of horror hit me.

 

I thought of Syria, and those people killed by chemical gas.

 

They were just making their way through their everyday life, and this gross huge force from above came and ended it all. And killed their babies too.  

Suddenly, I was sobbing.

 

 I felt like the action I took killing those ants was just like whoever sent that gas into the atmosphere in Syria. I cried for that helpless, horrific, inhuman event and for the dear souls that lived and died through it.

 

How can I not cry?

 

 We are one world. One heart. 

I'm not going to let myself get stuck in the horrors or the pain.

 

But I am going to feel them and acknowledge them.

 That is honoring this human experience we are all here to share.

 

Experiencing my grief,

I'll get back to my real work.

 

A little more scarred,

 

but ever more sure,

 

 that Love is the answer. ❤