Yesterday, I spent Sunday afternoon facing this view…
North Hampton State Park beach, NH.
How blessed am I ?
I was in a bit of a strange mood.
One that I will choose to blame on hormones.
You see, 97 % of the time, I am utterly and completely fine with the fact that David and I decided not to have any children.
But every once in a while, I hit a day that falls into that 3 %
where the fact that I don’t have a child to love and to be loved by for the rest of my life
is like a hole in me.
Maybe it is because this gorgeous creature is turning twenty today :
(my sister Nat and Jessica from Fall 2010)
and she was the first baby that I ever really, really loved and was loved back by…
(Happy Birthday, Beautiful Jessie ! I love you so much.)
or because I am missing this 3 year old niece who is the best niece since Jessica, and who I haven’t seen nearly as much as my heart wants to lately :
(Katie – April 2011)
(I am coming over soon, Katie ! I miss you !)
Or maybe it is because I am 45 and my hormones are getting ready to bring me out of my childbearing years into the next phase of womanhood…
I don’t know but man, oh, man did I want a kiddo yesterday !
I spent a lot of my time at the beach watching a family of six play,
two sets of twins, I think, two girls and two boys about a year apart.
They were so cute !
One thing I learned from watching them was that there is no way I would never want to have had 4 kids as sweet as they were…man, that is a busy life !
But maybe, if it was just one…???
Okay, enough !!
I think I will just have to head up north asap, and get me some good niece and nephew loving to fill in that hole a little more.
And in the mean time, I will go back to creating in other ways !
Here is another Sunflower Girl that I did last week.
I think it may just get framed up and given to Jessie as a birthday gift…
And here is a work in progress journal page :
I did the yellow background a while ago – extra paint from the palette smeared here and there..
The circles and the sequin waste pattern are actually rubber stamps with StazOn ink in black.
The marionette figure came about in kind of a cool way.
I ripped shapes from an old dictionary page to form a head, a torso and some arms.
And then the figure just needed a torn skirt to become the puppet that she is…
Twinkling H20s added color to her…
Maybe I will add this quote to the page somehow :
“How ridiculous I was as a Marionette! And how happy I am, now that I have become a real boy!” - Carlo Collodi
We shall see…
Today will be about some mundane Monday things like groceries and stuff.
But also Meditation class tonight.
I have been a lapsed meditator these days and it is time to get back to practice !
I hope you are feeling fulfilled this Monday, Beautiful Ones.
Big Love !