Thursday, July 9, 2009

My Irresistible Obituary

So Patti had these two posts this week about the most incredible obituary written about a certain Nancy Lee Hixson, who passed away last month. The most incredible part about it was that it was written by Nancy herself, and put in a Cleveland newspaper after her death by her son. Wow...

Patti set the challenge of writing your own obituary, and also of living out your life with that obituary in mind. That was a very thought-provoking challenge for me, as are so many of the ideas that Ms. Digh puts out there.

Here's what was developed with the ideas percolating in my mind when first I woke up this morning :


Kim (nee de Broin) Mailhot, aka the Rock Fairy, 104,

died in her sleep last night, curled against the back of the love of her life, David Paul Mailhot, 109, also deceased.

She Loved BIG.

She leaves behind her well-loved dear ones to carry on

the endless and infinitely satisfying soul-job of spreading love in the world.

There will be a music-filled, artful, brightly decorated celebration of their lives held by the Lake. Bring on the flowers ! Her favorites were poppies, lilacs, peonies, gerber daisies and tulips. As for donations, give your time, and/or your money, to making every child that you meet know that they are beautiful, valuable and strong. It is what Kim loved to do.

"Love is the Answer to Every Question."

You know what I learned from this exercise ?

I learned that I am no longer afraid of dying.

Not that I want to go anytime soon, thanks !

But that if it were to happen today, that would be alright. I know I am loved. I know that the people I care about know that I love them. I have felt the beauty in the world today. I have touched someone else's heart in a deep and meaningful way. While I still have dreams I want to work towards, and so many things I would love to experience and appreciate, I really don't need anything else.

This is a far, far place from where I was a few months ago, when I was racked with fear of dying. That fear came from the feeling that I was not living the life I wanted to live and that if I was to die, I had wasted my life. I see things so very differently now.

Learning to live my life in the present moment so much more, and to be mindful and truly grateful for its many, many gifts has changed me. I know that shit will still happen. I know I will feel sad and depressed and angry and lost sometimes. But I also know the answer to turn to in those moments of need.

So say it with me now....

"Love".

Off to live my Irresistible Obituary...

Off to Love Big !

18 comments:

sherry lee said...

(((((LOVE)))))

What a great obituary (I knew if anyone was going to take up this challenge when Patti put it out there that you would!! and I'm so glad you didn't disappoint me...as if you ever could!).

I love that you put such a big # up there for when you will have this obit published...you have a long way to go girl...live every moment as if it was your last!!! ♥

joanne said...

this is so lovely, Kim... and so wonderful to see you writing and flowing with such ease in this post, especially since it is a post about death...

it is an amazing thing to be free from fear, isn't it? (and it doesn't have to be fear of death... i have other fears to work on) ... but with death... going to happen anyway whether you fear it or you don't... we can either live life in fear and find at the end of it we stood still in that fear, or we can live life at peace with it... either way, it doesn't change the fact that it will happen... why not live peacefully and fully ... always in the presence of love...

Snap said...

Wonderful and thought provoking post, Kim. Mr. Dragon and I both wrote our obitiuaries years ago. We didn't want anyone else to do it. After all, we know ourselves and each other better than anyone. There is only one thing that I am sure of and that is one eventually dies. What we do with our lives between birth and death is important. Be true to ourselves. Love ourselves and we will be able to love others.

Jennifer said...

Awesome. I love the idea of living your obituary! Yours is pretty great and full of love. I feel loved today too...so nice to feel that!

Genie Sea said...

Fantastic! Live big! Love big! YEAH! :)

Commuter's Journal said...

You forgot the part about how the Rock Fairy's niece handed out 104 stones with the words "Love Big" written upon them to be spread across the world.

A wonderful embrace of love and life, Kim!

lynne h said...

ahhh, kim... this obituary is so beautiful and so YOU... it says it *all*.

i've given you an award over at my place -- feel free to do with it as you please. i sure loved giving it to you. : )

xo

Kate said...

Kim,

Your obit was fantastic. I hope you managed to live it to the fullest today and onward.

Kate

Susan Tuttle said...

Big, big LOVE!! Your obit is full of self love, love for life and celebration all around.

i too am not afraid to die, but don't plan on going any time soon:)

xo

Julie said...

Kim- what an awesome idea!! really....well done!

notmassproduced said...

Thanks for sharing this - it's wonderful. Glad i popped by via Lynne's place

beth said...

I love this exercise and I'm so glad you shared yours with us....

I think I'll give it a try myself and see what I come up with...

and I've always thought how great it is to be able to write your own obituary....because really....as hard as others may try, there's nobody who knows us any better than ourselves....right ?

Karin Bartimole said...

what a beautiful exercise and amazing revelation to have come from it Kim. To release all fear of dying is probably the biggest accomplishment we humans can make in life - and allows all other things to come fully, don't you think? What can stop us if we have lost that ultimate fear?! Love it, love you!
Karin

rivergardenstudio said...

Your blog is very thoughtful and thought provoking at the same time. And bright with color and sunshine. Roxanne

patti said...

If 'loving big' was all you ever did here on this planet, then your life was entirely worthwhile.

Thanks for sharing the love Kim, that's why I come here! (((Hugs)))

Anne said...

Hi, Kim! What a great exercise, to contemplate the legacy you want to leave and all the things you want to accomplish. You've written a beautiful obit. I tell my hubby all the time he isn't allowed to leave before I do ... passing together, peacefully in your sleep is a lovely dream. May you live to be a healthy 104, with your hubby at your side! Love and hugs! :-)

Lorrie Grainger Abdo said...

I can only echo what everyone else has already written. Thank you for sharing this very poignant piece. You lived a great life! :)

Tumble Fish Studio said...

Another post from you that really touches me. I went to the links and found the obituary and am so impressed. Then I read yours and once again realize we are not far apart in our thinking and living and possibly dying. I, too, feel okay with it to some degree. Recently in a long candid but humorous talk with my kids, they pretty much admitted that it might be harder on them to lose their dad at this point in their lives than it would be to lose me. They'd miss me, but I've done my job and worked hard and they are at an age that they feel they have a lot left to appreciate about their dad. Hearing that was such a relief to me - such a burden off of my shoulders and actually helped me fight my fear of flying recently. It makes me feel a little freer again somehow. Anyway, it is good to know that you are living the best you can and to appreciate every moment and when the time comes, there are no regrets. Eloquent lovely post my friend!
marsha