Sunday, September 15, 2013

Handing over fears…

Saturday morning should be dreamy, quiet, play time, don’t you think ?

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Well, my Saturday morning was invaded by noises that make me cringe and racket all around the house.

Don’t get me wrong, now.

Part of me is very, very grateful for my father-in-law and brother-in-law who came to help David replace our rotting back deck stairs.

I know in the end, the stairs will be safer and look much improved, which is awesome.

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The problem is that I have this stupid, somewhat irrational fear of saws and power tools, and also huge fears that David will be the one getting hurt.

So I sit the whole time the guys are working, waiting for one of them to call out in panic that they have lost a finger or something.

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Stupid, I know !

I try other things, like leaving and going shopping.

Or putting on relaxing tunes really loud and trying to make some art.

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But I think the worry I feel even comes out in that art !

Check out the expression on this Rock Being ! Winking smile

Anyway, since I have been a bit on edge anxiety-wise  these days,

sitting in the studio yesterday was a kind of torture.

After creating my art journal page,

aptly entitled “Hand over your fears to the giant silver fish in the sky.”

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Rock Being Art Journal page - “Hand over your fears to the giant silver fish in the sky.”, 09/14/13

I went out shopping to Tar-jay and took a break from it all.

I got home to find out that David had sliced his thumb with a carpet knife, and we spent Saturday evening at Urgent Care getting him stitches and a tetanus booster shot.

But guess what ?

All that worry and anxiety doesn’t change the outcome.

It only changes how I experience the whole event.

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This morning, the guys are back to finish up.

I am breathing through the saw sounds. I got my favorite socks and shoes on and I am taking this body for a walk around the neighborhood.

Going to see if I can hand over those fears to whatever shiny big thing is up there in that cool blue sky.

Happy Sunday, Beautiful Ones !

19 comments:

Nadeja said...

Blessings and love to you my precious daughter. What you share is that you know that you are always safe in love no matter what. Holding you and the Mailhot men and you in a loving, surround.
I love you,
Mom

Kate Robertson said...

Sending you peace and calm on this Sunday Morning. ALso some healing for David's poor hand. Your journal pages colors are calm and soothing, so different from your usual bold colors. Its like you were putting the calm that you wanted to feel, right there on the page. Soak some of that up now and just be.

Lots of Love on its way,

Kate

somepinkflowers said...

oh dear girl !!
you fret almost as much as me ...

i will climb the highest tree
without even seeing the end of the branch
but
Let Someone Else Try That
and
i am all
""are you crazy ?""

xox

happy
for you
that nothing was cut off permanently ...

yikes !


((( thrilled to see
how
your art*work*play
is developing ...
makes me swoon with Glee
that silver moon fish ... )))

Corrine at sparkledaysstudio.com said...

I can see the tension there, but I bet that silver fish from the sky will protect you so well. xox

slsmyth said...

You are so, so on the money here...worrying changes nothing. You worried and it happened anyway...well, no one lost a finger or worse, but a big slice on the thumb with a carpet knife is nothing to sneeze at. And life carried on and even through the worry you were able to make beautiful art (even if the face on the rock being in showing worry -- I can see it!)...now I hope you and your purple converse and your fabulous socks had a great walk around the neighbourhood and you let everything go up, up, up into the sky and then watched it float away like a big puffy cloud! love you my friend! xo

The Bodhi Chicklet said...

The words Irrational and fears just go together. Perhaps there was a smattering of premonition yesterday too? I am glad it was something that a couple of stitches could take care of though. Happy Sunday, friend!

Chel said...

I SO understand this! Whenever I hear the vacuum running, or a leaf blower/chainsaw outside, I get very edgy about it. It just unsettles me. So I totally understand what you mean. *huge hugs*

Fallingladies said...

I so want to throw my cares to that giant silver fish in the sky, what a comforting thought! Sorry part of your fears came true....i hope you.enjoy the rest of your week !

beth said...

you sooooo always know just what you need, what you want and i love that about you.....xo

nacherluver said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
nacherluver said...

LOVE how you make things come to life! Rock being is beautiful! FEar and all.

Love the socks & shoes.

Yup. Hand it over my friend. The Universe has your back.

;)

nacherluver said...

LOVE how you make things come to life! Rock being is beautiful! FEar and all.

Love the socks & shoes.

Yup. Hand it over my friend. The Universe has your back.

;)

nacherluver said...

sorry for the repeats. computer has hiccups.

Olivia said...

Man, oh man, My Queen, this is the full story. Good for you for facing down your fears and expressing them in your art. And then another day of doing the same. Isn't life like that sometimes? Sending you Big Love and Big Hugs today, xoO

patti said...

I love your simple wisdom Kim! My son is a carpet layer and works with knives. Yes, knives!

He cut his leg once and I freaked out and got him to a doctor, who gave him a tetanus injection! The cut was minimal compared to my reaction!

I have learned to stay cool while feeling the fear! But yikes it's hard!!

Marit said...

I do hope no more bad things happened last Sunday dear one! Did you find that silver fish on your walk? If so, tell it to swim my way as I can use something to hand over my fears...

Jess said...

I do the same when there's DIY going on. I'm quite accident prone myself when I'm doing household stuff so I suppose I imagine everyone else around me is too! Your journal pages are a wonderful result of your tense day! I hope all is well and no fingers were lost! ;) xx

Marianne said...

Kim, I love your journal painting...the colors are wonderful, and I do so like your rock being.

I know fears...if you knew some of the thoughts that go through my mind you would cringe. Most of our thoughts are based on worldly experiences, either our own, but usually other people's experiences we've heard about. We're filled with them, and they get pulled out of our memory file more times than we can afford.

We create a lot of what comes into our lives, so I am very cautious of my thoughts, words, and emotions. Every time a thought comes to me that begins an emotion of fear, I have learned to immediately say, "No that's not God's thought and I WILL NOT allow it to be mine." It can be a vicious cycle, but it can be broken.

We are implored by heaven not to fear. And I now understand why. The moment a fearful thought comes to you, speak out loud that your family is safe. For example, "My men know how to keep safe, and I know that Heaven is protecting them." Scripture has helped me immensely.

The fearful thoughts still come, until we develop a more positive outlook on Life itself, and that takes practice. I'm still practicing.

Blessings for peace in mind and body,

Marianne

Nic McLean said...

Just came over here by way of a link from Andrea at Falling Ladies. I love this post and I can totally relate to your fear, irrational or otherwise, that your husband might hurt himself using power tools - my husband used to be a tree surgeon swinging about the top of really tall trees with a chainsaw in hand and I was sure any day I'd get a call to say something awful had happened. Thankfully it never did and he has a safer on the ground job now! Still, we can worry all we want, like you say, it won't change the outcome, it'll just ruin our days! I love your big silver fish in the sky art work and the idea that that could be what is up there!!