Thankfulness Thursday - Love Letters to Me !

Do you every write love letters to yourself ?

I used to do that when I was in my 30's -

when I was really in love with myself for a good while
there.

I haven't done it in a while

so I decided that for Thankfulness Thursday I would.

I won't bore you with all the gushing and sentimental stuff.

But I will tell you that it includes appreciation

for my intelligence,

my big, big heart,

my desire for justice and fairness in the world,

my imagination and creativity,

and my sense

of humor.

Write a love letter to yourself, especially if it has been a while...

And while you are listing all the great things you love about yourself,

I will bet that you will realize that the world is

(A Postcard that I received from Jennifer Float at gallerygirljen.blogspot.com)

Blessed because you are in it !

Today, I am thankful the the glorious being that is ME !

Go love on yourself, Beautiful Ones !

(Oh and please check out the Weekly Gratitude Blog. So many wonderful people sharing their stories of thanks. A certain queen was highlighted today too. ;) )

Thankfulness Thursday - Heart Healing

So I awoke this morning to a really bad nightmare. (Or a day mare, I guess as it was just before 6:00am). The dream was so vivid and horrible and hard to shake off. I woke up sobbing and shaking. David took me in his arms and held me, which usually works to banish any bad dreams away, but this one kept flashing in my head and making me feel all the feelings of the dream over and over.

The dream was about my Dad. I have dreamed of him being hurt or even dying many times since he died 14 years ago. I have also dreamed of him "visiting"me and where things are peaceful and sweet, but most often, when I dream of him, it is in this traumatic way.

It makes sense to me as his dying was the worst thing that has even happened to me. I was only 30 when he died. He left us much too soon. I also had my share of issues with him that I have gone on to try and resolve on my own. I have always said that my Dad was the person I loved the most and also hated the most in my life. I know now that the hate is over and healed but he still was the most challenging relationship of my life.

So why is this a topic for Thankfulness Thursday or my Weekly Gratitude piece ?

Because today, and every day, I am so grateful for our incredible ability to heal ourselves.

This morning, as I described the dream to my mom, I realized that we are coming into the exact time of year when my Dad was dying. He died on March 3rd. The month of February was full of trauma and fear and uncertainty that year as we went through the process with him. It is strange how some years the pain is worse than others - some years it has been close to pain-free. But this year, I obviously needed to heal some more of that big hurt and my whole being - even my unconscious mind, was going to make sure I did it !

This morning, I had a good, deep, cry for the loss of my Dad. I asked those unanswerable "why ?" questions. I was sad. I mourned a little bit more. I did a page in my journal in honor of the day's feelings. I lit a candle to send a message of love to his spirit. I know I am going to continue this process throughout the day and for as long as I need to.

Today, I used my heart, my mind, my body

and my being's incredible powers for healing,

and I healed one more little piece of

that big, big, hurt.

And for that,

I am very thankful.

I know I am usually a much more upbeat type of blogger, but I am also a honest one. While I try to focus on what is right in my world, I also don't want to ignore or deny the harder stuff we all face in this life. I think we have a lot of work to do to help one another mourn better in this society. Feeling those feelings of hurt and loss is a natural part of our life as human beings, just as feeling joy and love are. While I am not grateful for the hurt or the loss, I am grateful of the places that healing the hard stuff takes me to.

It's all part of being a Big Heart Walking, I guess...

Wishing you sweet moments of healing too, Beautiful Ones...

Thankfulness Thursday - This Man...

I am thankful each and every day of my life for

this man...

He is my soft place to land (his shoulder is the very best place in the universe for me!).

He is my partner in life.

He takes such good care of me and allows me to take care of him.

He shares his hopes and dreams and fears and joys with me.

He shares his wonderful loving heart with me every day.

He is kind, and generous, open-minded and open-hearted.

He is brilliant.

He is proud, tenacious, hard-working, and a really good guy.

He is my best friend.

My playmate.

My cheerleader.

My harbor in a storm.

My sweet, tender, hunka hunka, burning love...

I am so proud of all that he is and all that he brings to the world.

I am grateful everyday that we have been brought together

to walk this journey through life.

I am grateful for all he has taught me about love and loving.

I am grateful for this man...

and he will forever have my heart.

I love you, David.

Go here and see what some other great people

are doing to express their own weekly gratitude.

Thankfulness Thursday - Compassion

(art journal page - Prayers for Haiti - 01/13/10)

Today, I am so filled with gratitude.

I am grateful for all I have, from the cozy shelter I live in,

to the running water I use to wash my hands,

to the food on my plate,

and every other thing I am so fortunate to come in contact with each day.

I am also so very grateful that my dear, dear, loved ones

are all safe and sound today.

That I can pick up the phone and hear their voices,

and tell them I love them,

and be heard.

And on this day, when the world is so full of sorrow, strife, and devastation,

I am so grateful for our ability to show compassion and love to one another.

The outpouring of love, and prayer and whatever help each one of us is capable of

for the people of Haiti and so many others in the world,

gives me hope

and makes me grateful

that I am here

to witness it

and to participate in it

in whatever way

I can.

And when I forget, and start to feel overwhelmed, inadequate, or helpless, I turn back to this quote from Edward Everett Hale, that helped me so much yesterday :

"I am only one.

But I am one.

I cannot do everything

but I can do something.

And I will not let

what I cannot do

interfere with what

I can do."

and get back to doing what I can...

(you can go here to see some ways that you can show your gratitude for all that you have today...)

Weekly Gratitude

Thankfulness Thursday - We are all connected

I am going to do my best to participate in the Weekly Gratitude year long project of documenting what you are grateful for each week. I settled on Thankfulness Thursdays because I like the alliteration ! ;)

Today I would like to express my gratitude for Connection.

Not so long ago, I was lost in a place of real isolation and loneliness. On a day of desperation, I asked for help from the Universe. I said "Look, I am drowning here. I don't know what I am doing on this planet. Please help me. Tell me what to do."

The unexpected answer came in the form of a video called "girls who rock"(this video is no longer available) on a blog called "The Dancing Mermaid". The video by McCabe showed her and her mermaids warriors, her young girl tribe, joyously learning to be strong and healthy women during a summer creativity camp put together my McCabe. It also showed the girls painting these gorgeous brightly colored rocks with words of inspiration and connection for one another.

After I watched the video a couple of times and cried at its magic and beauty, and told McCabe how incredible I thought she was through a comment on her blog, I was pushed by everything in me to paint some rocks of my own. I actually had a bucket of smooth stones from the beach under my desk waiting for such a project.

The painting of the rocks was one of those experiences when you feel like something, someone else, is working through you. The words and phrases just came pouring out. It still feels that way to this day when I sit down to paint the Rock My World rocks.

Once I had a pile of these lovely rocks, all varnished and full of love, the question came "What do I do with them now ?" The answer came quickly "Go and give them away. Get out of your own head. Do something for some one else." That was the day that the Rock Fairy was born.

I walked to the park and started leaving the rocks on benches. The thing that was filling me up with each rock I left was the thought that my little act of leaving that rock behind was like giving kindness and love to someone else...without expectations, without a need to be recognized, just giving and connecting to someone at a heart level. The giving of that little extra bit of love was filling me back up in return - it was making me feel like I had a purpose in this life. My purpose is to connect to others in love and kindness. I have shared many stories here of how these little bits of love have allowed me to connect to people from all over. They have allowed me to know that I am not alone and that we are all in this together. Those rocks have really made my world better in more ways than I could ever describe to you...

Recently, I told you about a craft fair that I attended and you may remember that I met a young man there who was an art student who needed to do an interview with a stranger for a paper at school. He was drawn to me by the rocks, as I was giving them out and having wonderful exchanges with people at the fair.

Well, I met with Nick at a local bookstore, and he interviewed me. I told him the story of the Rock Fairy and how Rock My World started and what it has brought me, from the heart filled with joy at leaving a rock somewhere for a stranger to find, to receiving the title of Rock Fairy from my friends Michelle and Patti, and so much more. My friend Nick then wrote his paper, handed it in and received an A on it ! His teacher called what he had written "poignant" and "memorable". It was very well written, and best of all, it was done with such respect to my story and what I had shared with him. That really touched me !

Nick also send me a thank you gift of one of his incredible cardboard vessels that now sits fittingly on my altar in the studio, filled with Rock My World rocks. The greatest gift he gave me though, was in his last lines of the email he sent thanking me for my time. The lines read :

"I'm so happy to know you appreciated the story and it warmed my heart to read that you were proud. You are one of the kindest people I've ever met and if I'm ever feeling down, I'll just think of you and how I can do something for somebody else. This project has truly been such a rewarding experience!"

The card from Nick - a beautiful print !

The cardboard vessel - made with precision and an artist's eye.

I have come to realize that connection is what it is all about for me in this life. It is my purpose, my greatest source of joy and comfort, and my motivation for being the best person I can be. The better I love and connect with myself, the stronger and more powerful my connections with others will be.

So on this first Thankfulness Thursday of 2010, I express my gratitude for the beautiful web of connection of our souls and all it brings to us as human beings. I am thankful for it each and every day.

Happy Thursday, Beautiful Ones !