Big Heart Walking Gets Rocked !

So I have this new ritual that I have started in my studio ever since I bought that new great dresser from the thrift store and I have a little more surface space to play with. I created a little altar space. I have a gorgeous-smelling soy candle that my aunt Lise gave me for my birthday there, along with a silver bowl of Rock My World rocks and some other little objects that mean a lot to me. I also have some of my favorite painting and art objects hanging on the wall above the altar.

I have been trying to start my creative time in the studio by lighting a candle and then picking a couple of rocks to set the mood for the day. It feels good - like a little prayer time - and somehow prepares the space for my creative expression and play.

These were the rocks that picked me today. ;)

I think I can work with those - lots of juicy stuff there!

Speaking of juicy stuff, I have to share a gift I received unexpectedly in the mail last week. It made me cry when I opened it. I felt so special, so loved and so cared about. A true gift in every sense of the word !

It has been over a month since Squam. Some days it feels like it never happened, like it was all just a dream. But then, I think of the people I connected with, the people I will know for ever, even if we never get to physically meet again.

Corrine and Me - Sept.2009

One special person I connected with was Corrine. She lives in MA so there is a very, very good chance that we will be getting together asap to play. In fact, I am working on making it happen as we speak !

Corrine was my housemate in Porter's Lodge and we also took both of Judy Wise's class together. You can learn more about her at her blog : dos fishes. I shared lots of good stuff with this talented and very loving lady during our Squam adventures and she comes to my mind often. Well, I guess I come to her mind too, because look at what she send me in a box just about the size of a bread box last week:

There was a canvas piece of her wonderful collage art with it's awesome sewn paper in it, adding that amazing texture and line...

And there was a golden box that held a gift from Nature that Corrine knew would

touch my heart big time !

How beautiful a Heart Rock is that !!! I love, love love it !

What touches me the most was that this kind, wonderful woman thought about me, knew that receiving such a perfectly thoughtful gift would touch me immeasurably and that she took the time to package up all that love and send it to me courtesy of the US Postal Service so that it would arrive as a surprise at my door ! That just blows me away ! It makes my heart sing with joy. So thank you, thank you Corrine, for this love-filled gift. It rocked my world in a beautiful way !

PS:(Corrine is an amazing animal lover and has rescued many furry friends from horrible ends. She recently lost her beloved 14 year old dog, Blossom, and I know she could use some loving vibes and thoughts sent her way as she goes through this mourning, so if you can add her to your loving list today, that would be so wonderful.)

As my friend Patti would say, be someone's angel today !

Big love, Beautiful Ones !

More Squam Lists...

Some more lists of Squam Stuff...

Top Ten Beautiful Sights - this could have been the top 100 instead, at least ! So much beauty to be seen...

(click to enlarge any of the photos and lists)

Flowers on the Playhouse steps - Jenny Doh spoke here...so beautifully.

The lake from Sap House - our classroom for two days

Jonatha Brooke sings by the campfire

This is Angel from Austin, Texas - our unofficial roomie and oh so talented artist friend

Some of my Biggest and Best Squam Lessons :

# 1 for me I think is that I can be the Big Heart Walking, Shiny One, that I am no matter where I go. You know the old saying "Don't let anyone hide your light under a bushel" ? I have been hiding my own light under this big ugly bushel for a long time, and now that I have learned how good it feels to shine it again, I won't let anything stop me.

Our room before Carolyn and I settled into it - cozy sanctuary,

but it would have been soooo much better with some heat !

My own art - face painted upside down, fearlessly, from Judy's Play Book class

There were some miracles at Squam, everyday miracles that sparkled so brightly and will be with me forever when I think of my experiences there. Judy Wise jokingly calls them "Pink Unicorn Moments" ! Love it ! Here are a few :

My Beautiful Room-Mate and new Dear Friend, Carolyn -

how wonderful it was to share our stories with one another so safely and

with such friendship love.

This is a photo of me wearing the necklace I bought from Georgia on Vendor Night, this gorgeous girl who was selling beautiful necklaces with the wings of butterflies pressed between glass and sealed in with solder (they come from a butterfly farm that collects the wings from dead butterflies). Among the butterfly wings was this peacock feather. I knew the necklace was for me. David once bought me a bouquet of peacock feathers in a long stem rose box when I had told him months before that I loved their colors so very much.

I got to share my story with Georgia - we had a "pink unicorn" moment of perfection.

The back of the necklace was perfect too...

for a Queen with big old wings !

Putting Down The Landing Gear....

I am home again. It is Monday, September 21st, 2009 and Squam is over and I am living in the afterglow now.

Above are some pictures of my Big Heart Walking apron that I talked about in my last post. Believe it or not, I did not have a photo of myself wearing it at Squam. I actually took these this morning on my back deck. There are lots of things I didn't get pictures of. I feel kind of bad about that but luckily, Carolyn, my roommate and new sister/friend extraordinaire took a ton which she will share with me soon.

(Check out the Canon on this Cool Chick !)

It was a huge, busy, quite cold, inspiring 4 days in my life, this Squam Art Workshop experience. Life changing, I think and certainly, rich and full of colorful details. I am not sure how to talk about it here. I feel like today is about making a safe landing after flying out far and wide and to all sorts of new heights and low lying areas.

(Porter's Lodge - My very, very rustic, Squam home)

I want to share it all with you but that is kind of impossible ! I am still figuring out what lessons I have learned as a result of my time in that place so different from my daily life, and I am missing so many of my Squamie Mates this morning ! The most important thing about SAW for me was the people I met and connected with. They were wonderful, brave, open, fun-loving, supportive and creative people all there soaking up the most of their own experience, just like I was. I know it is going to take some time for it to all settle in me, especially being away from some of my new tribes women ! ;) I have to say I am feeling a little lost today.

The Long House - Registration place - Rockywold-Deephaven Camp

The number one best gift I got out of the whole thing was the gift of Carolyn's friendship. I can't believe we only met in person 5 days ago. I know I have a friend forever now and that makes me really happy. Plus she only lives an hour or so away so we can definitely see each other and play some more soon !

Carolyn and Me Up Close

Let me also add that I am so thankful about the weather we had. Though the cold was really hard to take (it went down to the high 30's at night and the cabins have NO heat !!!!), the sun made the whole place sparkle all day long.

When I was trying to think about what and how I would share Squam Art Workshop stuff on the blog, I thought up doing Top Ten Lists like David Letterman. I am writing those to put into my journal to document my Squam adventures and I thought I would share them here too. Here are a couple that I have written so far today and I will add in some more in my post tomorrow.

Top 10 Words and Phrases

(click to enlarge)

(Flowers waiting for us when we arrived - some for every room)

Top Ten Great Things about The Classes

(I took Judy Wise's classes Translucent Layers and The Play Book, and Sarah Ahern's class Text and Images)

The magnificent, funny, down to Earth, sweet Judy Wise

shares her tricks with my housemate, Kriss.

Judy and me. She totally made my Squam !

Top Ten Squam Foods

The food at the Dining Hall was fantastic ! Fresh, warm, hot, yummy, plentiful, and best of all, I didn't have to cook it !

Number 5 - The Queen makes and artful sundae

So there is just a little bit about what I experienced. I don't think I am going to be able to share it in a way that really makes you feel what I did. It wasn't all Pink Unicorns and sparkles. There was silly, high school-ish cool kids vs every one else stuff that happens often when a big group of women get together. There was the physical challenge of being very cold a lot of the time. There was getting used to walking a good ten minutes in the cold, through the woods, before getting a cup of coffee in the morning. But there was also the companionship and support of fellow artists, the inspiration from the beautiful natural surroundings and from the talented people around you, there was the fireside wine chats and laughs with wonderful housemates and new friends, and there was the quieter giggles and sharing with my sweet and so very real roomie and friend, Carolyn, not to mention art play and more art play and more art play...

Squam.... quite a trip, my beautiful ones !

Oh and one last thing...

When I woke up this morning, I decided I wouldn't blog or even go on the internet. I thought I would want to just take the time on my own and document stuff, journal and draw and write it all done to remember it all. I wasn't even going to turn on my computer ! As you can see I changed my mind. Blame it on Patti Digh !

David called over to me from his computer as I poured my coffee this morning "Patti Digh wrote a post all about you on her blog !" he said. What ???? Yes, it's true - my favorite writer-lady in the world posted about little old Queenly Me ! Told you I was living in life-changing times !

I am going to slowly keep going through my photos and my Squam memories and put my feet back on the ground. I feel like of like a different person today. Well, maybe not that different but definitely shinier. That's it, I think...Squam buffed me up and made me a little shinier. That has to be a very good thing in the long run, don't you think ?

Can't wait to catch up with of you asap. I am glad to be home !

Off I Go !

I am so ready. Bags are 95 % packed. My heart is 100% full. I feel like that little kid in the Disney World commercial saying "I'm too excited to sleep !!!"

I made myself an apron to mess up in the midst of all my crazy prep. yesterday. I couldn't use the beautiful one that Arlene made me last spring as it is just too beautiful, so I took an old jean apron I had from Ikea that I was using in the basement stained glass room and used a t-shirt transfer sheet and a piece of cotton muslin. I printed the piece above with my logo onto the t-shirt transfer (reversed the image so the writing looks right), ironed it onto the white cotton muslin, grunged it up a bit with some fabric paint and sewed it onto the jean apron with crazy stitches (easy for me who has a hard time sewing straight !). I didn't have time to photograph it but I will be sure to get a shot of me wearing it from Squam.

Okay, this is it. I am shutting down the computer. Carolyn will be here in about 2 hours. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee ! Just so excited !

Love you guys ! You are definitely the wind beneath my wings (too bad that song is so corny - the message is beautiful!). The Queen is air born...

Wings are feeling strong today...

One more sleep...

(if you can call lying awake and packing and planning in your head until 1:30 or so and then waking up around 6:00 raring to go sleeping ! :)) !!!

I feel like a kid before a big birthday party or even before Christimas !

I loved all your wishes for me in your comments on my last post. It really means so much to me. It has helped me make my wings strong and ready for this flight !

"You were only waiting for this moment to arrive..."

See you when I land, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Ones !

The Queen is taking wing...

So in three days, it will be Wednesday, September 16th, 2009. This is a very important day for me. It is the day I go to S.A.W. , the Squam Art Workshops in Holderness, NH.

I am so excited I could burst !

I am also a little nervous...

Okay , a lot nervous. But I know I will be fine.

I am so proud of myself for stepping way out of my comfort zone

and taking the chance for me to hang out for 4 days with

a whole bunch of art loving adventurers just like me.

I don't know anyone in person,

though I "know" quite a few people from Blogland who are going to the retreat.

But I do have a blogpal who I feel like I know

and who is going to be my roomie

and who has already been such a great support for my neuroses

as I get ready to go and worry about "highschoolish" stuff

like what to wear, how will I fit in, what to bring, who will I eat lunch with...etc...

My blogpal/brand new bff is Carolyn

and I can't wait to meet her in person on Wed. as we travel up to Squam Lake (about 1 1/2 hours from home !) together !

You know when you embark on something and you have a feeling that it is the beginning of something really important, something that will have an impact on your whole life ?

Well, that is how I feel today,

as I get stuff together and prepare to go on my adventure.

I know I am giving myself a gift that is for my artist self and for my soul at the same time.

And that feels really good,

kind of like spreading wings that I just realized I have.

It is going to be a pretty busy couple of days, as I scurry around getting everything together (trying to relax into that instead of being perfectionist Kim - she is such a pain !!!). I don't think I will have time to post between now and Wednesday. I have also decided not to bring my computer to Squam. I want to soak everything up, and fill myself and my spirit. I am bringing the camera though !!! And I just may take a video or two while I am there. I will take you all with me in my back pocket, and I promise to share my experiences when I get back.

I will see you then and say some prayers that I remember to use those wings !!! ;)

Happy Sunday, beautiful Ones.