So Olivia at happyluau gave me a gift today. She had a link to author, Brene Brown, and her blog Ordinary Courage. Through reading a couple of posts and checking out her book "I thought It Was Just Me(but it isn't) : Telling The Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy and Power" on Amazon, I think I have found a very important tool in my work with my 2009 word - Release.
" Hi, I am Kim, the Queen of Arts, and I am a Take-the-edge-off-aholic." They say that admitting the problem is the first step to healing. I have admitted this problem for a long, long time.
(Two page spread in my art journal - January 9, 2009)
I know all about what things (all legal, some prescribed, some even necessary to our survival) to use to try and "take the edge off" :
None of them really work !!! The edge is there for a reason. Now I want to release the need for those old, bad habits that haven't brought me anything but more edgy-ness and hurt and depression and self-criticism.
(On Jan.18, it will be six months since I gave up my edge-dulling cigarettes! - Talk about release !!! No wonder things are feeling so edgy ! Do you know how huge that was for me ???? )
And find the self-love, compassion for myself, and the deep-soul courage I need to walk bravely towards the edge ...
And leap.... 
14 comments:
Oh Kim, I love these pages for so many reasons...I'm so proud of you for the no cigarettes...it's a hard habit to break so I'm told and I applaud anyone (in this case you!! ♥) who has the courage and the strength to say "no more", even when the tempatation can be strong and the edginess can be overwhelming.
Wishing you love that everything else you wish to overcome and accomplish happens in it's time...I know it will!!
Congratualtions, Kim, on the no-smoking! I can't wait till I can say the same. Hubby and I both quit 3 mos ago.
One thing I am learning is we will never, be perfect. These little challenges to "improve" ourselves simply allow us to see what wonderful strenghts and weaknesses we have, cuz yep! along with the weakness...we have TONS of strenghts, too!
Now ask my outlook tomorrow...lol...and I may need one of those "taking the edges off" items!
Flying is so hard, so scary and yet I crave it, too. And yet, I feel safest in observer mode. Any wonder why I've been an artist and journalist and photographer?
Giving up your smokes is huge. Major congratulations to you for that! And I applaud your recognition of the edge. Just realizing that coping is not the same as dealing with things is huge. Enormous!
My goal for this year (not a resolution, i don't do resolutions) is to be open to "yes!" I think you're a step ahead of me on that and I'm going to take a page from your excellent journal and go for it.
Kim,
These pages are awesome. My word for the year is release to but I have not done much with it yet. Thanks for the reminder.
Kate
Take the edge off with art. :)
Congratulations on 6 months! Woowho!
Here's to your courage and commitment to your Truest self Kim! and to leaping off edges in a full and beautiful swan dive of faith...
Kim,
Congratulations on stopping smoking, first of all!
Second, I just love your journal pages. None of these things do ultimately work, but we do try, don't we? I love release, release, release...letting go was a theme for me in 2008 and I still have so far to go with this.
I want to be one of those gals who does yoga or meditates or even---does art (like you)---when stress and anxiety hit me!
BTW, I have never smoked, but am edgy and anxious about 80% of the time. My victory is that 20% of the time I'm not (as opposed to 0% for most of my life).
I know that Brene's book will touch you and cannot wait to hear how...
Thank you for all you've given me, Kim, and especially for inspiring me daily,
Love,
O
hi kim,
i'm just making my way here, even though i've 'seen' you at many of the blogs i love. now that i'm here i see that your art is very beautiful and honest ~ it makes me smile! thank you!
beautiful new year to you...
lynne
Stunning journal collages with powerful images and intent. Congratulations on freeing yourself from things that drag you down!
May you soar, soar, soar off the edge into infinite potential! :)
Hi Darling,
I don't see other blogs, but if they are anything like what you, I am in awe. What a talent!!! Bless you beautiful open and kind heart. Be really good to yourself or maybe just be yourSelf!!! You are amazing!
I love you precious one.
You know who...
YAY YAY YAY - I smoke so I know the HUGE GREAT BIG GRAND accomplishment it is to even walk away from smoking, but to stay away is even GRANDER! Congratulations Kim!!!!!!! Smoking is a highly self-destructive action. When I quit for a time a few years ago, I became self-destructive in other ways. It's a lovely journey, awesome adventure, dark dangerous dance getting to know ourselves and LIFE without our pal 'cigs' getting in the way. I really and truly applaud you. I look up to you and hope I can accomplish what you have soon.
"Look how far you've come baby!"
~Moon-lit Woods~
Melissa
Oh my God, I LOVE this post!!! Wow, I've got chills over the resonance I'm feeling over it! Your journal work on this phrase and it's dual take is AWESOME! Huge congratulations to you for coming so far with having quit smoking and for your realizations along the way. And THANK YOU for your support and encouragement on my fresh new attempt at it. Oh, you need to celebrate yourself because you sooooo deserve it, Miss Queen of Arts AND of Understanding!
Kim, this is a very profound page you've done! I'm so proud of you for being 6 months free of the smokes!! That is HUGE!
My drug of choice is food. *sigh* I'm sure I don't even have to explain that one.
You're a brave one. Know that you have a lot of us out here who love you. Have no fear of the edge! You will not go splat!
For those days when you doubt, and start to believe that maybe you can't fly, look at this...
http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1778399&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1
(It's worth it to copy and paste.)
Soar Kim! It's obvious you've got the wings!
xo arlene
I'm SO proud of you for remaining a non-smoker! Your honesty is so refreshing, and I appreciate it... it helps me be honest with myself... another VERY important step in healing and growing, right?!? Love you!
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