Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Time to Play Ball

Life has been all over the place around here lately.

A lot of sad news, like my friend Colleen’s untreatable metastasized breast cancer diagnosis.

Some scary stuff, like facing a lot of fear about medical tests myself, as well as waiting for results.

(All of which came back fine yesterday. Next up, Mammogram on April 3rd.)

monkeybrain

Processing the sadness and the anxiety resulted in a whole lot of crazy monkey brain last week!!

So much so that this nutty page and equally weird haiku turned up in the journal.

monkeybrain1

I so wish I could get through my emotions a bit better instead of basically making myself a rather sick, nervous wreck.

I am proud of the fact that I did use some newer tools to help me through, and that the really icky, scary anxiety stuff was a little less intense than it has been in the past.

I told many a friend about what I was going through, and got a lot of wonderful support for my fears and feelings.

I used medication where needed, and also turned to meditation a few times. Man, those deep breaths and quiet moments can be so comforting.

And of course, the amazing support and unconditional love that my husband, David shows me is unbelievably precious to me.

This week, having received good news from my doc yesterday, and the fact that the weather has been so warm and sunny, I am coasting into a more hopeful and peaceful place, thank God!

That kind of shows up in my journal page today, don’t you think ?

spring

I have been able to spend some important, tender and often sweet and fun time with Colleen, and will continue to do so as many times a week as our schedules allow.

Yesterday, we went to Pandora store at the mall and chose this Friends Forever Butterfly dangle charm for our bracelets.

Friends Forever Butterfly Dangle Charm

It is so perfect as a symbol of our friendship !

It reminds me of the magical day a few years back, where we stopped at this out of the way attraction called “The Butterfly Place”, and shared an hour or so in awe as butterflies of all kinds flew around us in a spectacular, beautiful show.

Our gang of artsy friends have planned a long weekend away on Cape Cod in two weeks.

Girl time, sea and sand, and LOVING. I know it will be such a balm for all of our tender spots.

spring1

So today, I will find some sweet ways to celebrate the first day of Spring,

tom

also the birthday of Thomas, my whiz kid awesome nephew!

I think it will include the first grilling time of the season

and definitely some time outside playing with this beautiful Chica-Dog !

chica

Spring is here, so let’s play ball, Beautiful Ones !

Big, big love to you !

15 comments:

Purpletreebird said...

Kim, I'm sorry to hear about your friend's illness and your own personal health worries. I had a breast cancer scare a couple of years ago and I know how frightening it can be waiting for results. Sending a big spring hug to you! :)
Jess xx

Chel said...

I am sending you, and Colleen, SO much love and light. Just everything I've got that's good energy is coming your way. Your art is SO inspiring to me. It reminds me that when times get rough, there's something waiting for me in the pages of my own journal. I need to get back to that. I have become obsessed with documenting rather than creating, and now I realize I need to do both. So much love to you <3 <3

Marit said...

I'm so glad your last page shows more happiness, and that the test results came out good. Step into the Spring, dear one. Feel the sunshine, breath and love.

Olivia said...

I too am sorry about your friend, My Queen. I am glad that she has you and you have her right now. I am glad that you can be there with her for this.

What a perfect theme of butterflies for all of your news and the start of spring. I am so glad that you are well and that your tests came back fine.

Life is so fragile and roller-coastery...sending you love, blessings, and sweetness today, xoO

Kathy said...

I am so sorry to hear of your friends condition, I pray for her. I love the charms you both will wear, to honor your friendship.
And for you, as one anxious mess...to another...(lol) those deep yoga/meditation breathes are all that saves me some days. I am a constant worrier (I wish it was warrior)and now on medication once more, it is much less...but it is still my "go to". So I completely understand, and send you a big old Southern hug. xo

jgr said...

I am sorry to hear of Colleen's illness. I'm sending prayers and positive thoughts to her and to you my friend!

Sherry said...

Always you refresh and you remind and you keep us all grounded. I'm glad that all of your tests came back okay, now on with the mammo!

I wish you and Colleen many happy best friends days with laughter and joy of just being in the day.

Look out Cape Cod...those artsy NH girls are on their way!!!

Love you ♥

Janet said...

You are such an amazing person. Each time I visit here I can feel the love. I'm sorry to hear about your friend's diagnosis and I am also happy to hear about your good test results. Life is like that. Some good, some bad, but in-between there's time for lots of love. I'll keep you and your friend in my thoughts.

rachel awes said...

big love to you in all the monkey brain-ness...hoping hope to you.
xoxox

rebecca said...

dear sweet kim,

you are welcoming spring into your heart and all of ours with courage and boldness. thank you for lighting the light of love and renewal and being you through all life's seasons and challenges.
holding you close, grateful for the song of spring ringing through out!

beth said...

don't scare me like that....thank god your reports came back GOOD !!

here's a warm, sun filled hug to you sweet thing !
xoxo

Mary said...

Thankful for good reports...praying for your precious friend...
May loves power embrace you all as you embrace each other.

Grace, peace and love to you Kim!

Lynn said...

I'm glad Colleen has you for a friend to be with her as often as you can in her time of great need.

I'm glad you got a good bill of health.

The butterfly charms are a delight.

And meaningful I imagine too.

Life's damn challenges...

Hugs to you both.

Cinner said...

Prayers fro you and your friend Colleen. I remember reading your post about the butterflies. I am so glad you had good news from the doctor. Life sure does send us on an emotional roller coaster ride sometimes. I wish you days filled with calmness, meditation and love.Sending you a big hug too.

Kate said...

Sorry about your friend and your own health journey. SO great to be able to put it into your journal though, we artists are so lucky in that respect.

I am down with a stomach flu today, so I am just taking it easy.

Kate