FOR TODAY (Monday, May 4, 2009)...
Outside my window...the maple trees are stretching our their new, bright green leaves, separating me from my annoying neighbors yard, finally !
I am thinking...that I need to get outside as soon as possible today !
I am thankful for...my new multi-focal contact lenses ! Bye, bye readers !
From the kitchen...a smoothie with cantaloupe, strawberries, raspberries (frozen), 1/2 c. low fat plain yogurt, splash of orange juice.
I am wearing...black yoga pants, black hoodie and my Mer-Kim apron !!!!
I am creating...pages in my art journal, not pretty pages but "process" pages
I am going...to the post office to mail out some arty stuff to a friend down South.
I am reading... too many self-help books ! I need to focus !
I am hoping... that I come up with a sweet gift idea for my mom for her birthday/mother's day
I am hearing...the quiet in the neighborhood and my house when everyone has gone to work on a Monday am
Around the house...there is dust that needs dusting and dust bunnies I am thinking of naming.
One of my favorite things...the new electric yellow Icelandic Poppy I bought on Sat. to plant in the garden - it is full of furry, crazy buds and blooming in it's pot right now.
A few plans for the rest of the week: meditation tonight, gettting some stuff done in the studio to bring up to Montreal when I go there this Friday, figuring out and purchasing or making a giftie for my mom, wishing my mom Happy Birthday on Wednesday, having dinner and a sleep over with my pal Andrea on Friday night in Montreal.
Here is picture thought I am sharing...
A Parrot Tulip from my garden - it gets more and more beautiful as it spreads its bloom.
Next in the mixed bag are some recent art journal pages. Kelly at Soul Humming has joined French Toast Girl in a challenge called "Everyday In May" where you work on creating something everyday for the whole month. I want to commit to things, I really do. But May is not a good month for me to commit to creating something every single day. I have many birthdays, a couple of trips to Montreal involved also and I just can't say I will get the time to do something daily. So I have have committed to "Everyday That I Can In May" challenge. Not as catchy a title, but all I can handle this month !Here is a page from May 2nd, "You are What You Think" :
and a detail with the saturation and brightness fixed up a bit :
And here is a page from Sunday, May 3rd, "The Last Judgement" (click to enlarge):
And a detail :
In my meeting with my counselor last Thursday, there was a moment when she looked me straight in the eye and said : "Stop judging yourself."
It was one of those moments, you know the kind that stay with you for a long time, maybe forever ? I am the meanest, cruelest, most unjust judge of myself imaginable. I would never, ever judge anyone else with the same set of standards or set of eyes that I use on myself.
The idea that I could learn to not be that type of judge anymore....that I could live without feeling those impossible standards hanging over my head anymore...was such a freeing and hopeful thing. I can't even express the relief I felt when I finally realized that this may be possible !
I have a long way to go to break the cycle I have been in for most of my adult life. But guess what ?
I may just be able to learn to be my own best friend after all ! Now that is hope, my friends !
What is one thing you would like to stop judging yourself for ? Maybe by shining a light on it, the judgement could ease ?
Shine those lights, my Beauties ! Happy Monday !
10 comments:
Mmmmm, this post is so full of amazing things! First I love that you are thinking of naming the dust bunnies...I will have to adopt that!
Next, love the title "Everything I Can in May" that sounds like something I can work with!
Last, judging!!! Geez, I jusge myself for just about everything and sometimes I don't even realize that I'm judging because it's just a feeling of never meeting the standards I have for myself. The bar keeps raising and I keep falling short. ugh! Things are getting better though. Life is too short to be sad and mad at myself most of the time, right?
Happy Monday to you, too! Judgment ... can be a really nasty word ...hard habit to break, too. Life is too short. I am what I am is what I am. (or something like that!)
Very nice pages!! Love your use of color and the meanings behind the words.
My favorite thing about this posting: the way you re named the Every Day in May challenge! You made it yours and you set your own standard. A woman who can do that can do anything. A close tie for favorite thing was that you have hope (maybe you WILL be your own best friend).
Good job, Kim!
happy days,
Joanie
Darlin;, that sounds like a huge monday , no wonder you are well in touch with your limits and know when to say no.
On other hand, if we turn into what we think about, then any day now I will transform into a slender, cold glass of sauvingnon blanc from New Zealand.
oh my -- that parrot tulip -- halted me in my cyber tracks dear -- just such a breathtaking image my friend:):)
your day sounds simply splendid -- yummy smoothie and gorgeous journal pages.
:)
xo
I firmly believe that the judge inside is an external judge we have internalized. One whose opinion for some reason mattered, and we ingested. In our natural state, we do not judge ourselves as harshly. Once I made that realization, I was able to let go of that nagging, pontificating ninny inside. :)
I adore your journal pages. There is a medieval quality to them. Like found artifacts from a forgotten monastery. Love them.
May your days be happy and soothing like this one :)
Kim, I loved your post (I just generally like your blog and turn to it whenever I can). My comment on the judging thing: It isn't hard at all to stop. Just stop. It's only hard if you think it is. (And I'm saying this non-judgementally!)
How did I miss this full, delicious post? I think my brain went awol on Monday. Judging is a vicious cycle, one that women are so terribly guilty of. Baby steps, awareness of when it happens. Like other things, recognizing it is the first step.
As always....you amaze and inspire.
To judge ourselves is so harsh. We can judge our work as it compares to other work we've done -- that is constructive. But to judge ourselves as worthy, as compared to others is so futile and destructive. We often become our "inner parent" and to what purpose?!? I'm so glad that you are working on this so that you can tell your inner Simon Cowell to sit on it! :)
Enjoy your "everything I can in May" projects...I love that possibility!!
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