Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I am all over the place but it feels good !

"K i m b o, where are y o u ????"

I am here. I am just kind of all over the place. There is a lot going on and most of it is really good. I am just struggling to keep focused in all the wonderful things that are presenting themselves to me to choose from.

I have to remember that I don't have to say "yes" to everything in the hopes that that is the thing that will take me where I am going. I figured out yesterday at meditation class that I need to be "at peace" with my decisions. Another words, if I stop and ask myself "Does this feel like something you can feel your heart and soul sing about doing ?" If the answer is yes, then I agree to it. If the answer is no, then I go to "Imagine you are at the end of your life. Do you think you will live to regret not doing this if you say no ?". If I feel like I will have regrets, then I do the thing - if I feel like it will mean nothing in the end, I say "No.". I feel like I can get some peace about my decisions this way.

I will be working at putting this one to the test today in this exciting and new time for me. Wish me luck !


Singer Napping on the daybed last spring,
Rest in Peace, sweet old Lady.


So last week, we lost our sweet Singer cat. In the end, we got assistance from the vet to help Singie leave her old body behind. She was struggling, we were struggling and David, as Singer's human being, made the decision to get some help. It was a hard decision, of course, but the right one for us. Singer left the world so peacefully, with the hands of people she loved gently touching her and whispering how good she was, and on the cozy, soft blanket she lay on was a little rock with the words "precious one". I know she is purring and singing her Singie song up there in heaven now.

Things were of course very tender here this weekend. One of the things we did to sooth our hearts a little was to go here :


The sights, smells and sounds of the ocean do a lot of healing.
Plus we were there together, me and my sweet man.


Just sitting and watching and breathing feels sooo good.

And you get to see stuff that makes you smile, like the powerful stance on this seagull.
"I am Super Seagull !"


We took the time to share some extra t.l.c. while we were there...


(notice the straight line formed from our kiss to the rock and then to the seagull
- cool huh ?)

Oh and here is a shot of the graffiti on the beach wall. ;)
Hurting heart ? Head to the beach if you can. Smooch with a loved one even better !
Hearts feeling better a little at a time...
I have been doing quite a bit of art work but I can't share it here for two reasons. Most of it was finishing up creating a journal for my lovely friend Arlene in Alberta as part of our Canadian Chickies Swap. The journal is on its way to her now and I don't want to spoil the surprise. I also forgot to scan it in or take any photos of it at all as I was late getting it out in the mail and packaged it up before I thought about that part !!!! I hate it when I do that !
Hopefully, Arlene will take a few shots for me before she plays in it ! It turned out really well and I did a few pages inspired by the journal play I did with Judy Wise at Squam which turned out great !

And speaking of Judy, I did do some work on the en caustic piece I did in her Transparent Layers class. We had only a few outlets to use our heat guns with in the Sap House classroom at Squam so I didn't get to finish my melting on the beeswax and making it into a nice smooth layer over all of my collage. Here is what it looks like after a bit of work at home :

"She wanted to save the world but she could only save herself."

- en caustic collage piece - Sept. 2009)

The wax is still a little thick in places for my liking

but it does kind of look "space-like" so I may leave it like this.

Detail

(Carolyn gave me the fantastic face with the head piece from her images. I must ask her where it came from. I changed up the hair. The bunny is my own drawing. The entire main figure was inspired by a piece that Judy did showing a woman holding a chicken in her arms. The hands came from that piece as Judy gave us a copy of it to work with.)

The last bouquet of flowers from my back deck container garden.

So this fall is proving to be a really full one for me. Between the lessons I learned about myself through Squam, the wonderful, wonderful friends I have made as a result of putting myself out there in my search for a community of like-minded peeps, and the opportunities to create postive change in my life and my world that are coming up all around me, I feel the true feeling of harvest ! I am a Fall baby after all (October 9th I will be 44 - WOW!), so maybe it makes sense that it is all coming together in this season for me.

What I do know for sure is that I am sooooo very grateful for it all. I feel blessed in so many ways and I am looking forward to spreading the blessings around ! This Big Heart Walking is still on the move !


(David spotted this rock when we first got to the beach - how perfect is that !

Better than a bouquet of flowers any day for the Rock Fairy in me !)

Big Love on this glorious Tuesday, Beautiful Ones !

18 comments:

sherry ♥ lee said...

Brava. That's all I've got say. ♥

Kate said...

Kim,

There is so much juiciness in this post. First I am sorry about Singer such a lovely cat and a hard loss. second your Art piece from Squam wowzer is that ever fantastic! Love the beach pictures. You really are coming into your own, it so wonderful to see.

Hugs,

Kate

Karin Bartimole said...

joy filled blessings all around, and a gentle farewell to sweet Singer. i love the vibrancy of colors and texture in your waxed piece!! xox k

beth said...

after singer's death, soothing your hearts was needed and I'm so glad you got the time to do so...it's amazing what a little water and sand and blue sky can do for the soul....

the photos are amazing...I love me a seagull too !

and you and david all kissy face, is too sweet !!

the heart rock amazing and a sign of something...maybe a journey that you are on...like a stepping stone...

and that piece of art...WOW...the colors and the ears have me hooked...

xoxox

Anne said...

Hi, Kim! So sorry for you loss. It is so hard to let a beloved friend like Singer go. But the way you said goodbye is such a tribute to her and how much you cared for her. Enjoy the quality time. It's great medicine! :-)

lynne h said...

oh, that rock, kim... what a gift for your Big Heart Walking...

love to you...

Anonymous said...

Hello Kim,

Sad for your your loss. Singer was lucky to have you guys to be there to say goodbye. And I think it was amaising, you both going to the ocean to share in the greif.

You talent shines in your art piece, nice to look at.

Lise and I think of you often when we admire you stainglass piece in our dining room.

Bless you on your journey my sweet Kimberly,

Your loving uncle Charlie

Genie Sea said...

Aww. :( Hugs!

deb did it said...

kitties and kisses. Kim and kindness.
you are the Queen of Fabulous!

Kikipotamus said...

So much beauty and goodness here. Thank you for bringing me along. I love the huge heart-shaped rock. Gifts abound.

BJ Lantz said...

My heart goes out to you for your loss of Singer. We had to make the same decision several years ago for our beloved "Puss" (19.5 years old) and it was heart wrenching. We still miss him. And, now we have 3 more to spoil...

joanne said...

comforting hugs for the loss of your gorgeous kitty... the kisses and hugs and ocean look so healing and soothing...

i love the energy of this post... (it's making me feel like getting out my art supplies right this very minute)... beautiful heart, gorgeous you :)

xo

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the journey of yet another beautiful heart warming post!
I so love you!
Mom

Miss Meliss said...

Oh, it's so hard when they leave! But I know you feel the same way I do - gimme the heartbreak of LOVING, I WANT IT! It is a tender and precious time and not to be missed.

Thank you David and Kim for sharing your lives with Singer, for caring for her, beginning to beyond. You are wonderful people! Singer, now you can sing your beautifull'ness to the whole world. I hope to be lucky enough to hear even a single note.

Kim, you and your life are more wonderful than words can tell. No one does it like you baby! Loving your art and your words as always!!

~hugs and hugs and hugs and hugs~
Melissa

littlescrapsofmagic said...

Two very good questions to ask, and I need to remember to ask them as well. I think I also need to go find myself a meditation and/or yoga class. I owe it to me, right? I'm so sorry about you wonderful kitty;it's a wonderful but oh so damn hard way to say goodbye. Hugs to you my friend.

elizabeth said...

My heart goes out to you for your loss. Singer was a beautiful cat. Hugs.

arlene said...

The beach is SO good for the soul. When we loose a dear companion, it's time that helps, isn't it. That and exactly what you have....LOVE and the time to share it. xo
I can't even wait to see the journal Kim. You have no idea. I will take lots of photos in the gorgeous fall light and send them to you. It's on it's way!!!!

arlene

Kathy McCreedy said...

Hey girlfriend,
SO sorry to learn of your kittie's passing, but thrilled for you that you have a new black kitty to love and provide a warm home for. It is SO hard to lose a pet, isn't it?!? And I know you were aching, perhaps in part so that the joy of a new baby could be so great... congratulations. Thank you for your amazingly kind, loving, encouraging comments on my blog... I really needed it! I'm trying not to worry, something I do really, really well... and trying to trust all will work out for the best. I'm praying for a job that is something I will really enjoy, not something I tolerate... thankfully my husband is ok with me going part-time, which is a god send... he's never been ok with the idea up until now. So, until something comes along, I'm going to enjoy every moment I have without a schedule. I have a four day workshop coming up with an amazing calligrapher from Dublin, named Denis Brown (look him up, his work is really a treat to see), so I'm practicing daily until our class, since I have the time! And trust me, I'm very grateful for that part of this "downsizing" mess. Take good care, love ya! K.