Tuesday, October 8, 2013

It ain’t always pretty…

I woke up on the wrong side of the easel today.

Maybe I am just in a bit of a funk about turning 48 tomorrow.

I know, I know.

48 is great, especially considering the alternatives to growing older.

Hardi-har-har.

Whatever the cause, I was crabby.

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So I took Crabby Me into the studio to lose myself in music and paint.

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Acrylic paint play on an already stenciled page in my moleskine journal.

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Letting the paint blobs bring the doodles out using Faber Castell pens…

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Isn’t this looking promising?

Promising ?

Or too pretty?

Need to add an edge to represent what I am feeling today?

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Suddenly, before I really knew what was happening

burnt sienna ink covered the page.

And not in a good way.

I started frenetically scribbling over the whole thing with a sketching pencil.

Then came out came these messy words…

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This kind of left me feeling defeated.

No magically beautiful page was waiting at the end of this time in the studio!

But then how many times have I said to other journalers and to myself,

that art journaling isn’t about the end product.

That it is about the process.

About letting yourself just be,

in that space, in that moment.

After sitting with the page like this for a few moments,

I added these words…

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And that is the truth, isn’t it ?

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So this less than perfect,

way less than pretty, page is remaining like this in my journal.

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And while some of the crabby is lingering,

I am left remembering

that no matter how ugly life may get,

to keep on looking for those sweet spots.

Happy Tuesday, Beautiful Ones !

Love hard and Make Art.

9 comments:

slsmyth said...

We always make ugly the bad guy -- I don't know why we do it but we do. Today I'm going to look at ugly and think -- this was productive and it was good and some of the "blahs" got poured out onto the page. So today, ugly is a positive and ugly is good! Hoping your day improves! xo

girlunwinding said...

If you are looking, those moments always point you in the direction of what you DO want. Then you can easily find your way there using those "uglies" as a sign post instead of a barricade.
I prefer to think of us as not growing older but growing INTO our wisdom, ahhhhh I remember when I was young and couldn't wait to be wise. Did you ever think like that?
~Peace
Dawn

Corrine at sparkledaysstudio.com said...

Sometimes it ain't pretty but you moved alot of energy there my friend. Happy early birthday tomorrow...enjoy your day. xox

Poetryqn said...

See, now I look at that page and CELEBRATE! The so-called'ugly' has been felt, expressed and...(insert sigh of relief here) released. When I have those pages in my book it reminds me that my emotions are very very real and not at all permanent. Expressing them on paper seems to shrink mine down and help me move through them. So, Brava, friend! I salute your bravery, your honesty and your generosity in sharing these. <3

Stephanie said...

boy do I know what you mean...been an ugly few weeks over here and I haven't taken my journal out to play quite often enough...enjoy that bd tomorrow my friend, enjoy it long and hard!
x...x

elizabeth bunsen said...

I am
loving
the curves
of golden oak
and caramel october
happy
happy birthday
do savor
each
and every moment
of this one precious life

Kerry Sinigaglia said...

Love seeing the process..... Brilliant....

Leslie said...

It's important to acknowledge the less-than-pretty days to truly appreciate the good ones! Wishing you more sweet spots than sour!

Leslie said...

And, happy birthday!