That is because I wasn't feeling it this morning.
I was feeling very sad.
Know what ?
It is okay to FEEL sad.
It is okay to feel sad some days and it doesn't mean that you are going to go back down to that deep, dark place.
There are just some things in life that are really sad.
I need to know that it is okay to feel it, to say I feel it, to share it with someone who gets it and gets me (thank you so much Dar - I love you !) and then keep moving on...
When you come back to this moment, it is all okay. I am sad but I am also okay...
And it is Monday so here we go...
FOR TODAY (Monday, June 22, 2009)
Outside my window...it is pissing rain again !!!!!!!!!!! That is anger, not sadness, lots of feeling going on today !
I am thinking...that I need to go back out in the rain and get some hamburger to make some spaghetti sauce and I don't feel like it.
I am thankful for...my friend Darlene, who was also having a bad morning and who is the best listening, commiserator, bitch time girlfriend I have !
From the kitchen...is supposed to be spaghetti sauce if I get off this computer and go and buy the hamburger and tomato paste I need.
I am wearing...a cute black t-shirt with ruffles, my jean capris, my "party on my feet" flip flops and two pig tails , not to mention perfect make up and all my funky jewelry - makes me smile on a sad day !
I am creating... permission for myself to FEEL what I feel, and not let it take over my world completely.
I am going...to finish this post and go and get the stuff at the grocery store, 'cause other wise I will feel crappy that I didn't.
I am reading...The Last Olympian by Rick Riordan. This is the 5th and final book of this Percy Jackson Series of kids books and I love the humor and style of it. Still looking for funny uplifting fiction to read so please give me any suggestions if you have them !
I am hoping...that the forecast for sunny weather in the 90's in Montreal this week is true as I am heading there Wednesday am.
I am hearing.... the rain, rain, rain dripping off the gutters, falling on the deck and the wind blowing it all around.
Around the house...it is dark, and seems like nap time for everyone except for me.
One of my favorite things...my two pigtails hairdo that I discovered this morning in my gloom. It may just be my new hairdo for the summer. Is 43 too old to wear two pigtails ? Good ! I always wanted to be a rebel ! ;)
A few plans for the rest of the week: make spaghetti sauce, pack and do laundry and clean the house tomorrow to get ready for my trip, leave Wednesday for one week in Montreal and in Mont Tremblant where I will get to see the sweet Katie and the rest of my wonderful peeps.
Here's 2 picture shots I am sharing :
I like it ! The great thing about being an artist is
that you can kind of get away with this, right ?Maybe ?
Finally, here's the journal page I did today during my sadness. I really loved just being with the feeling and letting the page just happen. I felt lucky that I got to just play with my paints while I was feeling crappy and didn't have to really face anything else. I am very grateful for that time in the studio, just being, and feeling, am letting it out however it comes...
"Dealing with Tears" - art journal page, June 22, 2009
Click to enlarge...
"More than once, I've awakened with tears running down my cheeks.
I have had to think whether I am crying or whether it is
involuntary, like drooling." - Jenny Holzer
I hope your Monday is good. And if it is sad, or hard, or angry, I hope you let yourself feel that, and know that you are okay anyway. You are not broken. And you are not alone.
See ya tomorrow, a new day, right ?
15 comments:
Have you read "Marley and Me"? I laughed out loud all the way through it. If you saw the movie it might spoil it, but the book was waaay better than the movie.
This is beautiful! The page is amazing. I have some tears that want to come now that I'm at work...I realize that this is a great source of sadness, but I like how you said that you can be sad and be ok.
The page you did is amazing. I am thinking that it would be great to do an art journal again. I would love to have access to my feelings more consistently.
Anyhow, not sure if I'm making sense, lol! Your pig tails are great...the pictures of you are gorgeous. I recently wore a side ponytail, and like you I figured that's the cool part of being an artist so rock on!!!
I'm reading "Slummy Mummy" and love it! (I've heard great things about Marley and Me too.)
I want to go backwards because the page you did is so amazing and the tears with faces was really moving in a way that I can't explain. Your pages never cease to wake me up in some much needed way :)
I felt that but the words took a little longer to form!
when i finally started to let myself cry on all the days that are crying days was the day i realized that the real problem came from the voice inside of me that told me i shouldn't be crying... cry on crying days... they will come and they will go...
thank you for sharing your teary-eyed day today...
i love your pigtails... i've been joining in with two long braids on the sides too!
Here's to better days ahead for all of us having a rough Monday!
Mr.Dragon always tells me that is an honor to share someones tears (he is a big fan of the first Dune book). I think he's correct. Love the pigtails and enjoy your trip. Have a wonderful, wonderful time.
Some days (some times) are like that. I'm all for letting the feelings flow, whatever they might be. Far better to let the cycle run than to try to stop it and crank in an opposite direction. I hope tomorrow finds you feeling lighter.
I wish you would have said you were down when I wrote this morning. I would have done my best to add some cheer to your world. Sadness does have its place though and I am glad that you were able to embrace it. I understand about the rain thing. We have had so much flipping rain this past month and hail too. I am headed to Salt Lake City where it is supposed to be warm and have no rain. I hope so I am so ready for some sun. Wonderful pages you did today. Cute hair and yes an artist can do anything they want, especially since you are the queen.
Kate
I remember telling me that feelings simply are that...feelings and that they are not right or wrong; they just are. I think you're very wise to acknowledge them and just let them be.
On a different note...love the hair!
Uhm...should have typed SOMEONE telling me!!!
Hi Miss Kim. I am sorry that you are sad because you bring me much happiness. But how happy is happy without sadness to compare it too? I hope this will cheer you up a wee bit . . . there's something for you on my blog and it's not an award. Hugs!
Marsha
You are BRAVE and hugely WONDER-FULL! Even when you are sad. The sad you has BIG HUGE VALUE! yay.
~Magick~
Melissa
BTW, I can't wait until my hair grows long enough to have pig tails AND pony tails!
~smoochies~
Hi Kim, I love your blog - congrats - you've been awarded!
http://magicalbeadstalk.com
Thank you for linking your Simple Woman’s Daybook at Grandmother Wren’s last week.
Please stop by this week and add your link again. I’d love to see this continue throughout the summer, allowing us to stay in touch with other Daybookers during Peggy’s vacation.
Please keep coming back –
I look forward to seeing you!
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