So Olivia at happyluau gave me a gift today. She had a link to author, Brene Brown, and her blog Ordinary Courage. Through reading a couple of posts and checking out her book "I thought It Was Just Me(but it isn't) : Telling The Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy and Power" on Amazon, I think I have found a very important tool in my work with my 2009 word - Release.
" Hi, I am Kim, the Queen of Arts, and I am a Take-the-edge-off-aholic." They say that admitting the problem is the first step to healing. I have admitted this problem for a long, long time.
(Two page spread in my art journal - January 9, 2009)
I know all about what things (all legal, some prescribed, some even necessary to our survival) to use to try and "take the edge off" :
None of them really work !!! The edge is there for a reason. Now I want to release the need for those old, bad habits that haven't brought me anything but more edgy-ness and hurt and depression and self-criticism.
(On Jan.18, it will be six months since I gave up my edge-dulling cigarettes! - Talk about release !!! No wonder things are feeling so edgy ! Do you know how huge that was for me ???? )
And find the self-love, compassion for myself, and the deep-soul courage I need to walk bravely towards the edge ...
And leap.... 
